For years, they've seen everything. Now they're talking.
We sat down with Steve, a 17-year Madison Public Library veteran, to ask about life behind the desk at Monroe Street Library. He did not seem particularly concerned about what we might ask.
"I've been asked just about everything you can think of," he said. "Nothing could shock me anymore."
So we started with the books and looked for where he draws the line.
Steve is unshaken by overdue books. Returning one a day late earns a guilt level of exactly 0.0. "Some folks apologize to assuage their guilt. I'm telling you, it's ok. I do it too. Life marches on unaware."
Dog-ear a page in your own book and Steve's position is: "you do you." Dog-ear a library book and the situation changes. "Borderline unforgivable," he said. "These are shared items."
Then we found the sensitive area: underlining, highlighting or annotating a library book is Steve's personal librarian hill to die on. Do it, he says, and you should feel "more than a little bad."
What patrons leave inside the books is where things get more interesting.
He once found an insurance payout check for more than $5,000 tucked inside a returned book. On the subject of what people leave behind, he used the interview to issue one direct neighborhood plea:
"Please don't use toilet paper as a bookmark."
The books, it turns out, are only part of the story. The questions that arrive at the library desk can be just as unpredictable.
One patron wanted to know, "Why can't I ever find a ripe watermelon?" Another question has followed him with rather more persistence. Asked to name the one he has answered approximately 14,000 times, Steve produced it immediately: "Do you have tax forms?"
Curiously, he did not actually tell the Tattler whether the library has tax forms.
Life at the library, we learned, is not all watermelon inquiries and questionable bookmarks. Steve offered a glimpse into what Monroe Street residents are actually asking for. Travel guides come up more often here than at other locations, cookbooks remain reliably popular, and two titles are currently drawing particular attention: Whistler by Ann Patchett and The Correspondent by Virginia Evans.
Of course, bringing new materials onto the shelves eventually raises a more delicate question: what has to go?
Steve, it turns out, enjoys making that call. Collection management is one of his favorite parts of the job, which means deciding when books, movies and CDs have outlived their usefulness or are in rough enough condition that they need to make way for something new.
Not everything at the library is about what stays on the shelves. Steve says younger visitors have their own favorites: the "reading buddies," weighted stuffed animals that kids love, and he especially enjoys hearing the interactions children have with them.
Steve does see room for improvement. He wishes Monroe Street had a more accessible programming room, a fact neighborhood improvement enthusiasts may wish to quietly file away for future reference.
On which section of the library deserves more love, he was considerably more direct:
"Bathrooms."
He did not elaborate.
While the facilities may remain under review, Steve's opinion of the neighborhood is much more settled.
"Folks here are friendly and clearly love their little library on Monroe St."
The Tattler can confirm at least one piece of supporting evidence. Monroe Street Library has carved out shelf space for this very newspaper, an editorial decision we continue to regard as both generous and slightly astonishing.
He wishes more people knew about the "so many cool databases" available through the library website. And when he talks about the most heartwarming part of the job, it is simpler: getting someone out the door with a book or movie they wanted, he says, "feels great."
After 17 years with Madison Public Library, Steve offered one sentence he wishes people understood about librarians:
"We don't know everything but we are willing to try."
Which left the Tattler with one final question: Is a hot dog a sandwich?
"Not in my culinary world."
After everything else he had revealed, it was perhaps the clearest answer of the interview.
Next month: Part II. Another librarian agrees to talk. What they reveal may change how you see the library forever.